Finding a Counselor

If you have never been to counseling/therapy before you may be feeling frustrated, nervous, anxious, and even fed up with your search. If that sounds familiar then this blog is for you. This blog is also for those who have been to a therapist but did not feel it was what they were looking for. As a therapist, and someone who has been to therapy in the past, I feel I can help to break down your search into three main categories.

1. Your issue, challenge, or circumstance: Someone who is seeking therapy usually has a specific issue they are dealing with. A challenge in life that feels insurmountable. Or maybe they feel they’re circumstances are not what they want anymore. Whatever the reason, your first filter in any search for a therapist should center around what you need. For example, if you are feeling anxious then a good therapist for you is someone who lists anxiety as one of their specialties. Likewise, if you are in a relationship you are experiencing doubt over, then you will probably want a therapist who works with relationship issues.

2. Your perspective, religion, beliefs, morals, values: Let’s pretend that you are looking for a therapist who helps individuals who may have anxiety issues. If you are atheist then you may not want a therapist who is deeply religious and vice versa. If you a pro-life then you may not want a therapist who is pro-choice and vice versa. The point? You want a therapist that can meet you where you are and that often times means finding someone who somewhat “fits” your foundational views of life in general. Keep in mind you will never find a therapist who will match every view you have perfectly, but working to find a like-minded therapist may be the best you can do. On the flip side of this, some people do want someone who presents more of a challenge to their thinking. This may mean finding a therapist with different world views, perspectives, beliefs, etc. Never forget it is the challenges in life that help us grow and move towards our goals.

3. Male or female: Everyone has a different preference, but it is important to find someone YOU are comfortable with. Many women who have been sexually assaulted by a male may feel more comfortable with a female therapist. Men who have been cheated on by their wives may feel more comfortable with a male therapist. There are wives who want to understand their husband more and, thus, may seek a male therapist to gain that perspective they feel they are missing. A man who has been hurt by a father or other adult male in his life may be happy to meet with a female therapist.

Once you have a list of at least 3-5 therapists that you feel will “fit the bill” take some time to either call or email them. When they respond, or when you send the initial email or make the initial call, don’t be afraid to ask more questions. Do they offer weekend and/or evening appointments? Do they allow you to bring another individual into session with you from time to time? How long have they been practicing? What does the fee schedule look like? Do they take insurance? Are sessions in-person or is telehealth an option? Is there a sliding scale they work from? These, and more, are important questions that help you, the client, finalize your decision of who will be your therapist.

If you are not sure where to start your search, here are some great websites that list therapists in your local and state area:

1. PsychologyToday.com

2. OpenPathCollective.org

3. FindaTherapist.com

4. GoodTherapy.org